Purple Perps

Another day another doll hair.

Following last week’s Zinfandel story time, today is going to be a lighter lift. I’ve been peak self piddlin’ the past few days, rabbit-holing on a topic I find absolutely fascinating and will hopefully get to share with you in a coherent way in the not-too-distant future.

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For now, let’s discuss: purple wine mouth. Why it happens, what you can do to mitigate it before you drink and how to fix it while you’re drinking. You’re welcome.

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Today’s post is brought to you by… Write of Passage

Write of Passage (WOP) is near and dear to me because it’s the program I joined this spring (Cohort 10) to kickstart writing again and has kept me on track with publishing regularly.

WOP’s premise is that writing online can change your life and I can definitely vouch for that. Past blogs I wrote helped me refine ideas that got me into business school and even connected a fellow model to me from across the world. She ended up joining my agency (and crushed it) and becoming my roommate in Hong Kong. So, it can change other people’s lives, too.

Getting back into writing online this time so far has helped me secure a Wine Scholar Guild scholarship and inspired others to reach out to organize tastings. I’m also looking forward to joining the harvest in Burgundy next month with some cool peeps—and it’s only been a few months.

Putting yourself and your ideas out there by writing online has a way of connecting you to people and opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise, it really is the last great equalizer.

If reviving your creative spark, growing an audience or even shifting careers is something you’ve been curious about, WOP is 100% for you. There are a few upcoming free workshops, which I’ll go over in more detail as they approach. I’ll include the links below if you already want to get them in your calendar:

• Grow Your Audience with the Cultural Tutor (6 Sept, 12:00 EST) Register

• How to Start Writing Online (12 Sept, 19:00 EST) Register

• Test Drive Write of Passage (21 Sept, 14:00 EST) Register

What is “Wine mouth”?

Reading this subtitle, I imagine Brits pronouncing this “win-myth”. Ha! I crack myself up.

Brits.

OK but seriously, here’s the scene (we’ve all been there): you’re on a date or at some networking event, drinking red wine and being fancy. You’re on fire in general and charming the pants off of that cute guy/girl in particular. Class and elegance all the way.

Off the heels of a hilarious joke you just delivered flawlessly, you excuse yourself and head to the bathroom where you double-take in the mirror and triple zoom in on your mouth, which looks like it has aged 50 years.

That’s the wine mouth lewk.

Why does it happen?

The two purple perpetrators you can thank are: tannins and chromagens.

Tannins are polyphenols (polyphenols are multiple phenols, which are complex bonds of oxygen and hydrogen molecules) that—in grapes—are found in the skins, seeds and stems. They are one of the structural components of wine and you know them for the drying sensation they give as well as the bitterness they can impart.

The best illustration of something highly tannic would be black tea. That astringent feeling in your gums, tongue—everywhere in your mouth—is from tannins.

In wine, you’ll find more tannins in red wines than in white wines because of the skin contact required in the red wine making process. That said, you can definitely still have tannins in white wines depending on how the winemaker wanted to do things, but just way less. Orange wines, which are white wines made with skin contact, are a good example of this. Anyway, we don’t care about that because white wine doesn’t stain your mouth.

Chromagens are pigment compounds. They like to stick to tooth enamel.

Just for fun, tannins and chromagens stick well to both your enamel and to each other (just look at the stains on your tea cup). But it’s not just your enamel that the stains stick to, they also stick to the borders of your teeth and gums, your tongue and lips. That’s because tannins bind to proteins and fat. This is nice when you’re eating a fatty steak, not so great when it’s your mouth.

What to do?

In this case, prevention is the key.

Before you drink, floss and brush your teeth. Get anything out of your mouth that tannins and chromagens can bind to. Don’t forget to exfoliate your lips, too. They looove dry lips. You can exfoliate them with a wet washcloth, then put a little lip balm on.

While you’re drinking, don’t eat or reduce how much you eat. If you’re at an event, you can eat before to put down a layer in your stomach. Basically, the idea is to reduce the amount of stuff the wine can bind to in your mouth. To be clear, I’m not saying don’t ever eat, I’m not trying to promote disordered eating here. Just strategic vanity.

Periodically, rinse and wipe your teeth/lips when you excuse yourself to the restroom. You can also ask the bartender for a wedge of lemon or lime to bite into (in private) then swish with water (to get rid of the acid) if you don’t have any little disposable tooth picks or floss tucked away in your purse or pocket.

It’s a little obvious but worth mentioning: you can also not drink red wine (Champagne is always a good choice) but if you don’t have the choice or only like red wine, you can at least try to avoid the most tannic ones:

• Sagrantino - very high

• Tannat - very high

• Nebbiolo (this is Barolo)

• Cabernet Sauvignon

• Monastrell (AKA Mourvèdre)

Some low - moderate tannin reds you could try instead:

• Barbera

• Malbec

• Cabernet Franc

• Gamay (Beaujolais)

• Wines not aged in oak, or aged in used oak or have spent reduced time in oak (oak also gives tannins to wine)

And there you have it! Like a lot of things, you can try doing damage control but nothing beats being prepared.

If you’re looking for some wine to stain your teeth, try some Château Beychevelle. Check out the story on how they got their name 🥰

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