Zodiac Wine

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Now, on with the show

With all the hubbub over AI, I decided to have a little fun with ChatGPT and Beehiiv’s new AI image generator to bring you your wine horoscope. The future is now!

The prompt:

An important lesson from the exercise is to treat ChatGPT like an intern. (Don’t feel bad, they get paid in Europe, unlike in my ye olde days in America where… they probably still don’t.) Treat ChatGPT like a European intern:

• Delegate grunt work;

• Provide prompts with clear, discrete deliverables and how they should be presented;

• Double check the details.

For example, a previous version of this prompt gave me links on wine.com that led to dead ends, so I had to copy/paste the suggested wines into Wine Searcher to get good ones. I then refined the prompt to specify to provide links from Wine Searcher and how to sort the results. The links that were returned worked perfectly!

The snark, however, was a bit hit-or-miss. But when it hits… trigger warning for Cancers. Just saying.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Ambitious and disciplined, just like a well-aged Barolo. Keep striving for greatness, but remember to stop and enjoy the journey too.

Wine Suggestion: Massolino Vigna Rionda Barolo 2015 - A Barolo that might remind you to slow down and savor life.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Innovative and visionary, just like a unique orange wine. Embrace your quirks, but don't go too far off the deep end.

Wine Suggestion: Gravner Anfora Ribolla Gialla 2011 - An orange wine that might resonate with your unconventional tastes.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Compassionate and dreamy, just like a romantic French Bordeaux. Keep dreaming big, but remember to stay grounded too.

Wine Suggestion: Château Lafite Rothschild Pauillac 2015 - A Bordeaux that might inspire you to turn your dreams into reality.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You're impatient and impulsive, just like an uncorked bottle of champagne. Can you ever chill out? Doubt it.

Wine Suggestion: Domaine Huet Vouvray Demi-Sec Le Mont 2018 - A classy Chenin Blanc that might teach you some patience.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Stubborn as a mule, just like your taste in wine. Branch out already, you don't have to stick to the same Cabernet forever!

Wine Suggestion: Tenuta San Guido Guidalberto 2018 - A Super Tuscan that might just shake up your predictable palate.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You're as indecisive as a wine list with 1,000 options. Pick something already, the sommelier's getting annoyed.

Wine Suggestion: Domaine de la Mordorée La Reine des Bois 2016 - A complex Rhône blend that matches your multi-faced personality.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You're so emotional that you might cry into your wine glass. Get a grip, no one likes salty Chardonnay.

Wine Suggestion: Domaine William Fèvre Chablis Grand Cru Bougros Côte Bouguerots 2017 - A mineral-driven Chardonnay that might help you keep your tears in check.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Always seeking the spotlight, just like a showy New World wine. Newsflash: subtlety can be classy, too!

Wine Suggestion: Château Palmer Alter Ego Margaux 2016 - A Bordeaux blend that might teach you a thing or two about elegance without being flashy.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You're so critical, it's like you're sniffing a flawed wine. Lighten up, not everything needs to be perfect!

Wine Suggestion: Produttori del Barbaresco Barbaresco 2017 - A Nebbiolo that might teach you to appreciate imperfections.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Always seeking balance, just like pairing wine with food. But seriously, sometimes just enjoy a glass on its own!

Wine Suggestion: Bodegas Muga Rioja Reserva Selección Especial 2016 - A balanced Rioja that might make you forget about overthinking.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Mysterious and intense, just like a brooding Bordeaux. Maybe someday you'll reveal your secrets... or not.

Wine Suggestion: Château Montrose Saint-Estèphe 2016 - A Bordeaux that matches your enigmatic personality.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Always seeking adventure, just like a bold Spanish Tempranillo. One thing's for sure, you're never boring.

Wine Suggestion: Bodegas El Nido Clio 2017 - A powerful and adventurous wine from Spain that suits your free-spirited nature.

Quick Q: